Justin Trudeau has completely replaced you. In fact, somebody recently said to me, "Mr. Now, I'm awake anyway because I got to go the bathroom. Barack Obama: Hillary once questioned whether I'd be ready for a 3:00 a.m. And look at me now, I am gray, grizzled, just counting down the days till my death panel.
#Jokes for dinner speeches full#
Eight years ago, I was a young man, full of idealism and vigor. In hindsight, I clearly should have been more specific. Barack Obama: Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of our politics.
But standing here, I can't help but be reflective and a little sentimental. It's like learning to do three-minute planks, and she makes it look easy now, but, next year, this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot, and it's anyone's guess who she will be. Barack Obama: My brilliant and beautiful wife, Michelle, is here tonight. If this material works well, I'm gonna use it at Goldman Sachs next year. Barack Obama: Anyway, here we are, my eighth and final appearance at this unique event. I was running on CPT, which stands for jokes that white people should not make. The end of the Republic has never looked better. Barack Obama: It is an honor to be here at my last and, perhaps, the last White House Correspondents Dinner.
Barack Obama: You can't say it, but you know it's true. FULL TRANSCRIPT: "Obama out" President Barack Obama's hilarious final White House correspondents' dinner speech (transcribed by Sonix)